“Those who do not observe the movements of their own minds must of necessity be unhappy.” – Marcus Aurelius
What creates unhappiness?
Usually nothing, by itself.
Unhappiness is most often a death of a thousand cuts:
Many factors that combine to create the low default emotional state we call “unhappiness”.
Here are a few of those factors…
(in no particular order)
* Poor health
* Sacrificing integrity for short-term gain
* Choosing the wrong romantic partner
* Lack of essential clarity on who you are, what you stand for, and what the purpose of your life is
* Poor life philosophy (Nihilism, cynicism, religious dogma, etc)
* Chasing pleasure, money, status, or validation
* Doing work you find meaningless
* Unresolved trauma
* Repressing / avoiding emotions
* Setting unrealistic expectations
* Excess stimulation (social media, entertainment, sex, etc)
* Excess use of cannabis, alcohol, and/or other drugs
* Lack of impulse control
* Lack of financial organization, clarity, and/or discipline
* Holding on to regrets and/or past resentments towards others
* Selfishness, being a dick to others, and/or talking badly about others
* Not setting clear boundaries with others, allowing others to take advantage of you
* Allowing others to influence the major decisions of your life
* Living in a toxic environment and/or around toxic people
* Trying to change people who don’t want to change
* Chronic indecisiveness, hesitation, and overthinking
* Unwillingness to change your mind
* Learned helplessness (“there’s nothing I can do”) and/or refusal to take responsibility for your life (“it’s not my fault”)
* Having nothing to look forward to
* Expecting an end result to make you happy (happiness is experienced primarily along the journey; destinations are fleeting)
* Expecting the same things to keep making you happy forever
* Trying too hard to be happy.
Any of one these by itself will make you less happy.
Many of them at once will make you unhappy.
This list is by no means complete (I’ll share an even more comprehensive list, plus additional context and advice for each point at our retreat this summer)…
…But it’s a damn good starting point.
Tomorrow, we’ll cap off the week with our list of what creates happiness.
Stay tuned 🙂
– T
P.S. I’d love to know if any of these points jumped out to you:
What do you need to change in your life to improve your default level of happiness?
Hit reply to let me know — or, if you’re a Path member, hit me up in the community so we can chat about it.
P.P.S. Here’s where you can read (or re-read) the earlier parts of this series.
