“The language of truth is simple.” – Seneca
The first time my South American teacher was asked (not by me)…
“How do I find my true self?”
He was confused.
To paraphrase the thoughts I assume ran through his mind:
“What is this silly gringo even talking about?”
So the translator stepped in and explained the problem:
This individual felt lost.
They’d spent their lives following the directions of the outside world, faithfully walking the path society laid out for them the way a child slips into the clothes laid out for them in the morning.
Their unique personality had been shaped and flattened by external opinion, their wants and needs polished until they were frictionless with those around them.
I know I’m poeticizing, here.
But not by much.
This person, like so many others, had completely lost touch with who they are and why they are here.
So my teacher listens to the translator, pauses for a moment, and then smiles:
“Oh, that’s simple. You don’t need to ‘find’ your true self. You just need to remove everything that’s not you.”
In other words, remove:
The false paths taken out of fear and insistence from others.
The false words spoken in the hope of gaining acceptance and validation.
The false actions that didn’t feel quite right.
The false assumptions left unquestioned.
The false beliefs left unchallenged.
Burn it all down, and see what’s left.
Because when the false is gone, all that remains is True.
I don’t know if this person took his advice or not.
It may sound exciting on the surface, but when those flames touch your life, they burn.
And not many can stand the heat.
But if the false has become unbearable, then the Truth is worth the pain.
And if you’ll allow me to poeticize just once more before we go…
The Truth of who you are can only be born from the ashes of what you aren’t.
– T
P.S. This is an area well-worth contemplating further.
We all (myself certainly included) have falseness that covers aspects of who we really are.
It’s normal, it’s natural, and it’s human.
But it’s also unnecessary.
So if you’re inclined (and daring), here are a few questions I often use to spark the match:
– What major activities am I doing in order to avoid conflict with others?
– What core beliefs about my life am I most afraid to question?
– What have I always wanted to pursue, but haven’t yet because I’m afraid of failing and/or uncertainty and/or what others will think?
Sit down with a pen and paper (or a blank computer document), and explore whichever one of those questions jumps out at you.
(it works best when you keep writing for at least 20 mins, up to 45+)
You’ll know you’re on the right track when you hit an answer you know is true — because it either charges you with a rush of fresh energy…
Or, stings you with a painful realization.
The energy is there to help you take the next step.
The pain is the feeling of the false, burning away.
Either way, mission accomplished.
Good luck 🙂
