“In everyone’s mind, the spotlight is on them… So don’t worry about what they’re thinking about you, because they aren’t thinking about you — they’re thinking about themselves.”
– Advanced Communication & Charisma
Happy Friday.
As promised yesterday, here are three more principles for:
- Upgrading your social intelligence
- Releasing social anxiety
- Connecting more effortlessly with others
- Becoming magnetic in social settings
…And, feeling fully at home within your natural personality, everywhere you go.
Let’s jump in.
(Continued from yesterday. Read # 1 – 3 here)
4. When you feel intimidated, ask questions.
If you feel yourself becoming nervous or stifled around someone, stop focusing on how you feel and focus on the other person instead.
Ask them about themselves:
Their work, their family, a project they’ve been working on, whatever.
This will buy you time to relax into the conversation, open up possible points of connection (see #5, below), and charm damn near everyone you talk to because everyone’s favorite topic is themselves.
Just be sure to keep it light — it’s a conversation, not a job interview.
5. Create points of connection proactively.
In every conversation, keep a close eye out for:
Shared interests (start shallow — movies, music, sports, hobbies, habits, etc — before going deeper)…
Shared experiences (all types, and especially challenging or emotional experiences)…
Shared sense of humour (creating inside jokes can build deep connection quickly)…
And, the one we all forget about:
Shared mistakes and limitations (“I suck at that too!”)
Each point of connection is another deposit in the account of the relationship.
6. Go first.
In the game of social dynamics, you get by giving.
If you want to be appreciated, give appreciation to others.
If you want respect, give respect first.
If you want honesty, be honest first.
If you want to be liked, yep — like them first.
(we like others who like us; nobody rejects a golden retriever)
Stop waiting for others to act the way you want them to:
Start acting that way yourself, and allow others to orient themselves to you.
As we’ve been saying all week:
Communication is an S-Tier life skill.
It can revolutionize your social life, your relationships, your work, and even your happiness, if you master it.
For more, check out our new masterclass…
Advanced Communication & Charisma
…Now available inside The Path.
I hope we see you there.
– T
P.S. Along those lines, a quick reminder:
1. We’re closing The Path again on Tuesday at midnight.
2. When it closes, our founders discount will close along with it.
3. Whenever we re-open The Path (date TBD) the price will increase from $49 per month to $99 per month.
Here’s where you can join us before our founders discount expires.
(P.P.S. Special edition of weekend recommendations coming tomorrow, stay tuned…)
