“We do not attract what we want, we attract what we are.” – James Allen
Don’t lie, I know you’ve thought about it:
“Could The Art of Self Design help me become more confident/charismatic/attractive to a high quality partner?”
And the answer is…
It depends.
Here’s what I mean:
Many years ago, a friend of mine got into “pickup” (basically a community of dudes who try to get really good at picking up girls to compensate for their insecurity).
He learned some lines and techniques and psychological tricks, and even memorized a bunch of conversational scripts using a a stack of cue cards.
Once, he even told me — and I’m serious, he really said this:
“There’s no point in meditating and working on yourself if you have good enough game.”
That settled it, for me — I had to see this “game” of his live and in person.
So we went out.
He got all tuned up, with his new outfit, his well-practiced body language, his library of witty one-liners and mental masturba — I mean “affirmations” — about being “alpha” and “the man.”
But there was one problem:
He couldn’t use any of his lines, because he couldn’t generate the courage to actually open his mouth and talk to a girl.
We walked around downtown San Diego for over an hour, silently passing dozens of women without saying a word.
The longer we walked, the quieter he became, until I could feel his anxiety buzzing like radio static beside me.
So we pulled into a bar to have a drink and settle down.
A few shots of tequila later, he’d forgotten his lines and his schtick and was actually being kind of cool — chatting up girls normal-person style (ie. without a script).
Eventually he ended up in a sloppy make-out with a stranger, and went home with a big proud smile on his face.
So good for him.
We haven’t kept in touch, but I don’t think he ever broke out of the trap he’d fallen into:
Trying to “design himself” based on what he thought the outer world — ie. women — would like.
He was making superficial, cosmetic changes to himself:
The clothes he wore, the “lines” he spoke, the body language he practiced…
…But none of those things gave him the self-confidence to even speak to a girl without alcohol (which gave him just enough temporary confidence to break through his insecurity long enough to attract someone).
A shame, because the very thing he didn’t want to do — actually work on himself — would have given him a natural charisma that didn’t require alcohol.
You can’t fake authenticity, after all…
(by definition, fake and authentic are opposites)
And a high-quality partner can smell in-authenticity like a chemical leak that sends them running for the hills.
Bottom line:
The only way to attract a high-quality partner is to actually be a high quality partner.
A partner that…
Knows who they are and what they stand for…
Has an inspiring vision and purpose for their life…
Is fully comfortable within themselves (flaws and all)…
Proves the quality of their character through their actions…
And, above all, is just a genuinely good person:
A person you are proud to be, and that someone will be proud to be with.
That, The Art of Self Design can help you with.
It won’t give you silly cosmetic changes that artificially boost an insecure self-image — but it can give you a strong, healthy, positive self-image that doesn’t need to be boosted because it feels whole within itself.
I hope that answers your question 🙂
– T
P.S. Once you have clarity on your own Self Design, you’ll also have clarity on what you’re really looking for in a partner:
A shared purpose, principles, and path in life.
This gives you clarity on who and what you’re looking for, and standards you refuse to compromise on, both of which are love-attraction superpowers…
…Because the person you’re looking for is also looking for those things.
And you need to find them within yourself, before you can find them in a partner.
If you’d like to discuss this more within the program, let me know inside our private community and/or live calls.
And if you’d like to join the program before we close up shop tomorrow night, here are the links once more:
1 payment of $295 ($100 discount)
2 payments of $147.50 ($100 discount)
I hope to see you inside 🙂
