“The big trick in the game of inner development is mastering the part of you that doesn’t want to develop.” – Why We Backslide, Part 1
Instead of recapping today, I want to jump right in.
So if you missed Part 1 or Part 2, catch up on those first.
Now, for Part 3…
Picture a fully loaded spring, primed for launch:
We’ve been pressing down on it, pressing down on it, pressing down on it…
…Working, grinding, hustling, pick your favorite verb — until finally, our work culminates in a breakthrough.
Results show, and we celebrate:
“I did it! I can relax now, I’ve earned a rest.”
So we skip a few sessions, eat some not-so-good food, binge something, pick your favorite vice — it all amounts it the same thing:
We release the spring.
Sprrriiiiiiiiing!
Homeostasis reverses all that growth-force into a powerful counter-force that snaps us back to the safety of our comfort zone.
It’s like a spell comes over us:
We get sloppy and can’t seem to get un-sloppy.
Our results shrink, our hard-won discipline atrophies, and we tumble back down the mountain we’ve struggled so hard to climb.
As the familiar cocktail of regret, shame, and doubt washes over us, we find ourselves back on the roller coaster to nowhere, wondering:
How the heck do I get off this thing and start making some real, lasting progress?
The answer, thankfully, is simple:
Stop releasing the dam spring.
Instead, when you feel the impulse to backslide, welcome it as feedback from your brilliant homeostatic system that is telling you:
Growth has occurred, and that growth needs to stabilize.
And how do we stabilize growth?
By not wasting it, for one thing.
But also by not forcing it past it’s natural homeostatic limit.
So, instead of releasing the spring all at once…
Gently ease the pressure until it normalizes.
Give yourself a week (or so) of shorter, lighter sessions instead of no sessions.
Find healthier versions of those unhealthy vices (Unreal instead of halloween candy, Olipop instead of soda, NBA 2k instead of Fortnite).
Switch from heavy reading to a fun book, instead of not reading at all (the new Elon bio is great so far).
Switch from sitting meditation to laying down meditation (the 10 points practice from Reggie Ray is especially powerful).
Work / do homework at a coffee shop instead of your usual spot, for a change of pace.
Hang out with friends instead of messaging your ex-girlfriend.
Watch a clean, quality show instead of doom-scrolling TikTok (Community, The Office, Big Bang Theory, Ted Lasso, How I Met Your Mother, etc).
Whatever suits your taste, those are just a few examples that all point to the same idea:
Find a way to keep moving forwards that is satisfying, fun, and comfortable.
And if you do find yourself slipping, don’t compound the problem with more slipping — just stop slipping (immediately).
In a week or two, you’ll feel the urge to press that spring back down and build again — this time, with more force than before.
That’s how we make smooth, continuous progress:
Build – stabilize – build.
And here’s the big secret, for those who want to go beast-mode on build-mode and skip all this sissy stabilization stuff:
Stabilizing what you’ve built is part of the building process.
Growth occurs during recovery, and recovery happens on all levels; not only physical, but energetic, emotional, and psychological, too.
So don’t be surprised if your results actually get better while you stabilize.
Okay, I think that covers it for backsliding.
Did we miss anything?
Let me know, and maybe we’ll revisit this topic in the future.
Tomorrow, something new.
Great work so far this week, maybe treat yourself to one of those healthier vices, tonight 🙂
– T
P.S. For convenience:
Here’s where you can catch up on Part 1 and Part 2, if you haven’t yet.
