“Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.” – JR Barrie
Yesterday, I gave myself a “self-care” day.
They seem to be all the rage, these days, so I figured:
Why not?
I started the day with a cold shower, and an hour of sitting meditation.
Then had a nice, relaxed coffee.
Went for a walk.
Held a private, two-hour coaching call with the Vranes bros, for fun.
Lifted weights.
Ate lunch, took a nap.
Did an hour of standing QiGong.
Went for a run.
Took another cold shower.
Smashed the final episode of The Gentleman (holy sh*t what a show) with dinner.
Went upstairs, brushed my teeth, read Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy (book two) in bed until I drifted off around 9:30.
All in all, banger day…
But probably not what most people would define as “self-care.”
Two hours of internal practice, weights, cardio, coaching call… Cold showers?
Where’s the spoon-feeding of chocolate ice cream, the binge watching of Friends re-runs (RIP Ross & Rachel) while simultaneously doom-scrolling an ex’s IG feed, the cocoon of soft, furry blankets on the couch, the emotional dumping onto anyone who will listen about how life is just such a bother these days and why can’t everything just be how everything should be?
Simple answer:
Self-care does not mean self-coddling.
It means giving yourself what you need, not what you think you want.
Yesterday, I had some juice in the tank and pushing it felt good.
So that’s what I did.
If I’d felt differently, the day may have been more restful.
Or, maybe I would have pushed even harder.
It all depends on:
1. The state of my nervous system,
2. What I’ve been doing (over the past week),
3. What I will be doing (in the upcoming week), and:
4. What I feel like doing (that day).
Which is a much more useful definition of “self-care”, if you ask me.
Again:
Giving yourself what you need, not what you think you want.
Or, if you prefer:
Being a good parent to yourself.
Which means doing what is best in the big picture, rather than what is most pleasurable in the moment.
Then again, when we put it that way, I suppose every day is a “self-care” day…
– T
