“Good enough is good enough. That’s a good saying. Not a great one, but good enough.” – Jed McKenna
Tomorrow is the final day of a two-month solo retreat I started in late February.
It can’t come soon enough.
I’ve spent the past two months eating nothing but fish, rice, plantain, and water (no salt, no oil, no sugar, no seasoning, no oat milk cappuccinos, no nothing)…
…Eliminating all physical contact, non-essential social interaction, and most inputs (tv, social media, podcasts, books, etc)…
…And spending my days doing nothing but meditating, training, and working.
I’ve completed nearly two and a half years of this protocol, off and on since 2018, throughout my plant medicine apprenticeship.
But these two months may have been the most challenging so far.
And, while I know the reason why…
…It sounds so corny I almost don’t want to say it.
Really, this is such a cheeseball complaint that I rarely even think about it, let alone talk about it.
But fxck it, we’re at the finish line so I guess it’s now or never:
My biggest challenge over the past two months has been my own perfectionism.
Jesus, I cringed just looking at those words.
But there they are.
First, I should probably say:
I’m a big fan of perfectionism.
Use the right side of the blade, and it cuts smoothly through mediocre work, transforming it into excellent work.
As Theft of Fire author Devon Eriksen put it:
“Do not fight this process. Do not struggle against it. Do not resent it. Do not view it as an interruption or an impediment. Your brain is your friend. It is trying to help you. Every time it rejects an idea in midstream for not being good enough, it is making your story stronger and your voice more clear.”
Unfortunately, I tasted the other side of the blade this time around…
…And got schooled on a darker edge of perfectionism that I hadn’t fully seen before.
Here’s what I learned…
The problem with perfectionism isn’t that it “feels bad”.
(that’s the cheeseball complaint)
The deeper problem is that, when applied in the wrong dose at the wrong time, perfectionism actively works against us.
Perfectionism sets up a condition in the mind that says:
“I don’t deserve to achieve my goal unless I do everything perfectly.”
And so we unconsciously block ourselves from achieving our goal until we’re 100% satisfied that our effort was perfect.
Only, “perfect” doesn’t exist.
It’s not a standard measurement, like feet or inches, it’s an idea we made up:
An illusion we’re doomed to chase forever, as we race towards a goal that has no actual reality.
And that’s what I did for two months.
I watched my mind create a barrier between myself and my objective that never needed to be there, and refused to disappear until I accepted that:
Good enough really does need to be good enough.
I owe a lot to perfectionism:
The small voice within that insists I can do more is often the reason I do.
It has crafted much of the work I’m most proud of…
…But it has also slowed, delayed and even stopped work that was good enough from launching.
So, while the answer is definitely not to get rid of perfectionism…
(that’s the cheeseball solution)
…The answer is also not to apply it to everything you do, all the time.
The answer is simply to wield the blade well:
To know when it is helping you cut through, and when it is only cutting you.
Or maybe that’s just poetic bullsh*t and two months of staring at the wall has made me soft.
I’ll let you decide.
Either way, the finish line is in sight.
I’ll see you on the other side…
– T
P.S. For more on perfectionism, read this classic.
3 things to make your weekend better
What to watch, listen to and be inspired by this weekend.
The Studio – Apple TV+
This show is first on my list to watch after I get out of retreat. Haven’t seen it yet, but I already know it’s gonna bang. Let me know if you check it out.
The Real Cost Of Anxiety
“The longer you take to do a thing, the more times you think about having not yet done the thing.” Simple but powerful.
Theo Von & Katt Williams Being Prophetic
Katt Williams is a real one, and this clip is a gem (even better when paired with this short clipfrom last week).
“Any subject pursued deeply enough will eventually lead to philosophy. Mastery in anything, literally anything, will lead you to being a philosopher.” – Naval Ravikant
